How do I learn to trust myself?
How my “self-trust journey” morphed into my “self-trust journey in caring for this human called Me”.
Have you ever thought: maybe a part of me knows what to do next?
Have you ever wondered: can I somehow take everything I know and come up with an answer (even though I can’t think of an answer right now)?
Or…
How do I listen to my “gut” better? How do I even know if it’s saying something?
How come some people seem to make decision after decision without any self-doubt?
I’ve wondered all these questions myself. In fact, I’ve spent years worrying about the answers. And I know I’m not alone. My clients have asked the same things. Over the years and through years of my own practice, I’ve gathered together the “best practices” for self-trust.
Thinking alone will not create any new paths.
In fact, I know that only action will move me forward. Some of those actions will be wrong, some will be half-wrong, and some might be right. All of them are creating paths forward.
Wrong choices don’t change my inherent value. I’ve learned over time (and with lots of loving acknowledgment) that making the “wrong choice” doesn’t make me bad or wrong or broken in some way. It may still occasionally feel like that, but I’ve chalked that up to being human. Oh well.
Find trusted people to call. I have people I can call to ask them “Am i bad?” and they say “No” and I believe them because I have vetted them to be aligned with me in particular values (and they are my friends). Finding trusted people (even one or two) is important because we need people.
Before you can be a witness to yourself, allow others to do witnessing for you. And then join them in witnessing your pain, and then your power. Become a watcher of you.
Telling the truth about what you want is radical. Find others who are telling the truth and see how it feels to listen to them. Notice where you feel it when you speak your truth. In you. Around you. Believe it.
Try out your truth in tiny ways that feel safe. Take bigger action. Notice how it feels. This can take years.
Self-trust doesn’t protect you from loss. New skills are built slowly and over time. Or sometimes they are built all at once. Sometimes self-trust will feel great and other times it will feel really bad. there will be wonder, and there will be loss. And you will grieve.
You may notice yourself change. We change all the time. But as you learn to listen inward you will find out new things about yourself. Did you know this new thing was possible? Did you know you could survive 2019? Over time you may even shift what you wear. You may get a haircut. You may use new sentences and write them and say “wow did I just say that?” or you may communicate in new ways and you may witness yourself being new in new some way. You will witness your own change.
Listening inward will reveal entire landscapes. As you get better at reading your own signs, you may feel structures and parts coming alive waiting to tell you things. Like magical parts or versions of you or memories or you will be transported to old and new places. You will discover that you have internal landscapes that know things about you. You will become more practiced at looking inside and making guesses about what this creature (called You) wants.
The most surprising thing so far about my journey into self-trust has been that I’ve discovered a radical new human being: me! Trying more intentionally to trust myself has actually built new muscle. I’ve seen the proof of it in my life. Sometimes I hear my own voice and I am saying something remarkable- something I’ve never heard myself say before. And in that moment, I find myself hoping she stays, because she is a wonderful, surprising person. And especially then I realize- oh, this is self-trust.
If you want to be guided to deepen your own self-trust, I’d be honored to guide you. Get in touch and lets schedule a session!