How do you practice living?

Have you heard people call life a practice? Well, how do we practice the art of living?

I've especially been thinking about how to practice life when something hard has happened.

Even something small and daily. Like, let’s say something’s really been irritating, and it’s been a few hours, and you keep thinking about that thing that happened… and how you reacted. For me it was this morning just after we had woken up and gotten out of bed, I felt a full-body reaction to an interaction with my kids.

Well—practice can be helpful here. And it’s something that I might help my clients work through as well.

So what does practice actually look like?

It might look like this:

1) You live into that moment again, gently. You remember what it felt like to be in the room, in your clothes you were wearing and you summon back up the state of mind or the emotions: feeling irritated, or frustrated, or annoyed.

2) And then, in that remembered moment, you pause. Almost like a movie being paused. And you just watch.

When you pause, your feelings might slosh inside of you like an angry ocean

When you pause, your insides may feel like they are bigger than the room.

When you pause you may get flashbacks or angry words written inside your eyes like “I can’t!” or “I hate..!”

3) And you can stop here and just watch this happen. You may feel things in the present moment or you may feel more or you may feel less through the gauzy assistance of time and space.

4) You may (or may not) start to think about the questions that come up inside, like:
“What’s going on for me?”
“What other clues do I have here about what this feels like?”

“When did I feel this before?”

This kind of reflection is a soft opening. You offer yourself many different avenues for what could be going on. Not making judgments. Not being cruel to yourself. But really, truly wondering: what is happening for me?

You may not have answers right away—and that’s okay.

But by doing this, you open another door in your mind. A door that says: oh, there are other options here.

And even if you practiced pausing hours later… or days later… or weeks later… that small moment of reflection creates a possibility. A possibility that next time, you might pause sooner. You might offer yourself more choice. More compassion.

Again, you may leave this practice here and exit back into your life. Because sometimes even a little taste is enough practice.

I left my practice there. And then later in the afternoon I dipped back into the memory of this morning because it was causing me some pain. I really want to be a good mom and sometimes i mess up or I am not reacting the way that i want to. I felt a twist in my stomache and an ache in my heart. Or I was just sad. Perhaps I was all those things. So I went back into another practice. This time I noticed I felt a lot of quietude. I heard the words “I am doing my best already.” And “wow, this is me pausing, maybe next time I can pause in real life…” I created a little plan.

In my sessions clients who try these practices together often find little openings or ways in which some small thing may shift for them. Everyone has exceptional wisdom when they can listen to their feelings- even later on.

This is our practice for the day. What can you take with you into your practice of living life?


And if it’s something you’re interested in—this kind of gentle, ongoing experiential work—I’d love to walk alongside you. Contact me and let’s schedule a session.

Previous
Previous

How do I learn to trust myself?

Next
Next

Reflection with Intention